Written by Sean Michaelson · Original Writing: 1996 · Song Version: May 15, 2026

Original Writing

There were years of my life where I genuinely believed something inside me had been permanently damaged.

Not physically. Something deeper than that.

I did not understand why fear followed me everywhere or why shame felt attached to almost every part of my identity. I could be surrounded by people and still feel completely alone inside my own mind. I remember constantly questioning myself, my emotions, my memories, and even my worth as a person.

What terrified me most was not always the memories themselves. Sometimes it was the realization that I no longer knew where the trauma ended and where I began.

That kind of confusion slowly changes the way a person sees everything.

It changes how you experience love, trust, affection, safety, closeness, and connection. It can make you desperately want comfort while simultaneously fearing vulnerability. Part of you wants someone to finally see the pain, while another part of you becomes terrified anyone actually will.

I spent years trapped between those contradictions.

And because so much of the suffering happened internally, most people around me had no idea how much pain I was carrying just to function normally each day.

That is one of the strangest parts of emotional trauma. Life continues moving around you while internally it can feel like you are barely surviving yourself. People laugh. Conversations continue. Responsibilities continue. The world keeps turning while inside your own mind you are fighting battles you do not even fully understand how to explain.

Over time, the exhaustion from carrying all of that becomes overwhelming.

Not only the fear.

Not only the shame.

But the constant self-questioning.

You begin wondering if the damage somehow became part of who you are. You start asking yourself whether healing is even possible once pain has lived inside you long enough. And eventually the silence surrounding those thoughts can become almost unbearable.

I think many people who experience trauma quietly ask themselves the same questions over and over again for years:

Will this ever stop hurting? Will I ever feel normal again? Will I ever stop hating myself? Will I ever feel safe inside my own mind?

Those questions haunted me for a very long time.

And underneath all of them was one question that seemed to echo louder than the rest no matter how much time passed:

Where does it end?

Song Lyrics

Verse 1
Anger, rage, and all this weight
Names I learned to carry
Shadows sitting in my chest
A war that never buried
I was just a child reaching out
For love I thought was mine
Didn’t know the line was crossed
Didn’t know the crime

Pre-Chorus
They said silence keeps you safe
So I learned to disappear

Chorus
Where does it end?
Where do I begin again?
If I was broken back then
Can I ever mend?
Tell me where…
Where does it end?

Verse 2
They said I should understand
Things I couldn’t see
Blamed the way I felt inside
Like it came from me

But I was just a kid who needed
Hands to hold me close
Not someone who took that need
And turned it into ghosts

Pre-Chorus
I was never meant to carry
What was never mine

Chorus
Where does it end?
Where do I begin again?
If I was broken back then
Can I ever mend?
Tell me where…
Where does it end?

Bridge
If innocence is shattered glass
Who’s gonna make it whole?
If no one sees the cracks in me
Do they still cut my soul?

Final Chorus
Where does it end?
Or does it just pretend?
That we’re fine, that we’re healed
While we’re breaking within
Tell me now—
Where does it end?

Note: The music and vocal performance for this song were generated using AI tools. The original writing and lyrics were written by me (Sean Michaelson). My hope is to someday collaborate with musicians and vocalists to bring these songs to life in a deeper and more personal way.