Written by Sean Michaelson
Original Writing: January 17, 1998 | Song Version: January 21, 2026
Original Writing · 1998
I tried really hard to hear Him.
I thought maybe if I was quieter He would talk to me.
Sometimes I would fold my arms extra tight and close my eyes really hard because I thought maybe that helped Heavenly Father know I was paying attention.
Everybody else seemed to understand it.
They talked about feelings and peace and answers like they already knew what His voice sounded like.
I didn’t.
But I wanted to.
Really bad.
So I listened.
I listened during prayers.
I listened at church.
I listened after baptism.
I listened when everyone else was smiling because they felt the Spirit.
I kept waiting for something to happen to me too.
Sometimes I thought maybe I almost felt it.
But then it would disappear and I wouldn’t know if it was real or if I just wanted it to be real because everybody else said it was.
That’s the hard part about being little.
You don’t really know if you’re failing or just confused.
You just know everyone else seems to understand something you don’t.
So I tried harder.
I prayed more carefully after that.
I thanked Heavenly Father for things before asking Him for help because that was how they taught me to pray.
I tried to sound good when I prayed.
Not good like impressive.
Good like worthy.
I thought maybe if I prayed the right way He would finally answer me.
I remember being scared sometimes when it stayed quiet.
Not because I was angry.
Because I thought maybe the quiet meant something was wrong with me.
Maybe I wasn’t clean enough.
Maybe I wasn’t faithful enough.
Maybe my heart was wrong somehow.
I didn’t want toys or money or anything big.
I just wanted to know someone was there.
That’s all.
Just there.
Sometimes my brothers and their friends would make fun of the songs I listened to.
They would ask me in that mocking voice,
“What are you listening to?”
Back then I never really knew how to answer.
I think now I finally do.
I was listening to my childhood.
Because those songs still bring me back there instantly.
When I hear them, I am that little boy again.
Still hopeful.
Still listening.
Still believing there was something beautiful waiting for me in the silence.
No matter how much those songs hurt me later, they never stopped being precious to me.
They still feel innocent.
They still feel warm.
They still feel like home.
And maybe that little boy still lives inside those songs somewhere.
I listened so hard that silence started hurting.
That’s the only way I know how to explain it now.
The songs still meant everything to me though.
They still do.
Because when I hear them, I don’t hear lies.
I hear a little boy trying with his whole heart to find God.
And sometimes I think that little boy deserved an answer.
Song Lyrics
Verse 1
I learned to pray before I learned to doubt
Folded hands, small voice, no figuring it out
They told me Heaven heard me every time
That every whispered word was part of a divine design
I sang the songs with all my heart
Every note felt like a start
If I was quiet, if I tried
Surely God was on the other side
Chorus
I was listening
With everything in me
I was listening
Like a child who still believes
I was listening
For a voice, for a sign
I was listening
All the time
Verse 2
They said be clean, be still, be true
And He would speak the way He promised to
So I searched my heart, I searched my soul
Trying to fix what I didn’t know was whole
If I didn’t hear Him, I must be wrong
That’s what silence slowly taught me all along
So I tried harder, bowed my head
Wondered what I should’ve said
Chorus
I was listening
With everything in me
I was listening
Like a child who still believes
I was listening
For a voice, for a sign
I was listening
All the time
Bridge
They never told me silence could hurt
That unanswered prayers could feel like dirt
That a child might blame his heart
For Heaven feeling so far apart
I thought faith meant I failed somehow
I see that little boy so clearly now
He wasn’t weak
He wasn’t wrong
He was just listening for so long
Verse 3
I still remember that hopeful sound
Songs about light that never went out
I held them tight, I held them true
Even when I didn’t hear You
If You were quiet, I stayed near
Because love still lived inside the fear
I didn’t stop believing then
I just didn’t know how to begin again
Final Chorus
I was listening
With everything in me
I was listening
Like a child who still believes
I was listening
Not because I was blind
But because love doesn’t leave
Just because it can’t find
Outro
If You ever heard my voice back then
If You ever felt where I had been
Know this now, whatever it means:
I was listening
Listen to I Was Listening
Note: The music and vocal performance for this song were generated using AI tools. The original writing and lyrics were written by me (Sean Michaelson). My hope is to someday collaborate with musicians and vocalists to bring these songs to life in a deeper and more personal way.
