Complicated

Song & Original Writing · Written by Sean Michaelson

Original Writing: 2/16/1998 · Song Version: 12/31/2025

Original Writing

Enveloped by aspersion,
my quintessence is immolated to a consummated degree, This tatters my heart’s innocence into an execrable, desolated agony.

Enfeebled by the concussion of un-confounded echoes amongst taunting anamnesis,
I welter in melancholy, desiderating to vivify from a dream that forms an act of evanescence.

Reality hollows my esperance for sweet susurrations of a dreaming case,
As tepid tears cloak my eyes and strake my ailing, blighted face.

Elegant affliction hinders up my throat,
silencing all worded expression, As I fall to the floor, lying fetal, clenching to a paper that bears the lost fidelity of existing deception.

Climacterically,
concupiscence wars within my yearning for the innocent love of my illustrious friend, The discerning apperception he holds will elucidate my soul, returning life to my tenuous heart’s end.

Exasperated by veridicality,
I rise from my death, running to my love in the inundated rain, Lassitude tries to subjugate my deluged body, but sheer agony and acerbity extend my strength to gain.

With every slosh of my steps,
my battered lungs respire in the limpid, saturated air, As my salvation becomes adjacent to my enervated spirit and the open arms that will extirpate what I can’t bear.

Lastly,
with assuaging elation, I climb the stairs and thrust the door open to escape the taunting, killing echoes, As I unmitigatedly, between breaths, bellow out for my love to eradicate the ensuing shadows.

As I stand frail with a scattered mind,
he enters the room to view my shattered expression, Still clenching the paper of truth, I extend my hands to embrace him as my tears show my deep, uncontrolled desperation.

Gently,
with kind, loving hands, he caresses my body to soothe my dying heart, As I begin to explain the horrible, killing evil of truth that deceives all I had painted in life’s art.

My shaking calms and the pain begins to subside as he guides me to a place where I can sleep,
I strip off my wet clothes and lie in bed as he leaves the room, shining in the calmness deep.

Yet the illustrious savior of my desperate fabrication existed only within my desiderated reprieve,
For my bed, my pillow, and these inscribed pages alone embraced the anguish I could no longer deceive.

Plain-English Translation

I am surrounded by judgment and condemnation, and it feels as though the very essence of who I am is being destroyed. Whatever innocence remains in my heart is torn apart, leaving me in terrible, overwhelming pain.

Memories and echoes of the past pound against me. I cannot escape them. I am drowning in sadness, desperately wishing I could wake from this nightmare and watch it disappear.

But reality destroys that hope. I long for the gentle comfort of a dream, somewhere the truth cannot reach me. Tears fill my eyes and run down my exhausted, suffering face.

The pain tightens around my throat until I cannot speak. I collapse onto the floor, curling into myself and clutching a piece of paper. The words on it have destroyed what I once believed was true.

At this breaking point, I desperately long for the innocent love of someone I deeply trust. But within that longing, forbidden desires are fighting against everything I want that love to be. I both want and resist what I feel, and the conflict is tearing me apart.

I believe this person can understand what I cannot explain. Perhaps his understanding can bring clarity to my confused soul and restore life to my heart before it gives up entirely.

Unable to bear the truth any longer, I get up and run through the pouring rain toward him. My body is exhausted, but the pain and desperation drive me forward.

My feet splash through the water as my lungs struggle for breath. With every step, I draw closer to the person whose open arms might finally offer relief from what I can no longer carry alone.

I reach the stairs and rush upward, desperate to escape the voices and memories tormenting me. I throw open the door and, struggling to breathe, cry out for him to rescue me from the darkness closing in.

I stand there trembling, my thoughts scattered, when he enters and sees how completely shattered I am. Still clutching the paper, I reach toward him, desperate to be held. My tears reveal everything I cannot put into words.

He gently holds and comforts me. His kindness begins to soothe my aching heart. Slowly, I try to explain the terrible truth that has destroyed the picture of life I once believed in.

Eventually, my trembling begins to ease, and the pain becomes a little less overwhelming. He leads me somewhere I can rest. I remove my rain-soaked clothes and lie down in bed while he quietly leaves the room, allowing me a moment of peace.

But there was no trusted friend waiting for me at the end of that desperate run. He was the person I wished had existed, the person I imagined because I needed somewhere safe to fall apart.

In reality, I had my bed, my pillow, and these pages. They became the arms I wanted so desperately to run into, the only place I had to put the pain I could no longer carry alone.

Song Lyrics

Complicated

Verse 1

In the darkest of places imaginable, I found myself,
Rain-soaked and running deeper into the night.
Collapsing into arms that tried to offer shelter,
I wrote these words just to heal, just to find the light.

Chorus

Enveloped by aspersion, my quintessence set aflame,
Tattered innocence turning into desolated pain.
Echoes taunt my memory, weltering in melancholy’s tide,
Reality hollows hope, and tears are all I can confide.

Verse 2

Elegant affliction chokes the words I cannot say,
Falling fetal to the floor, clutching truths that slip away.
I rise, concupiscing love from a friend’s discerning gaze,
Inundated by the rain, yet their presence lights my maze.

Chorus

Bridge

With every step through the storm, salvation draws near,
Open arms to extirpate the shadows that I fear.
At last, with assuaging elation, I climb and call your name,
In the quiet calm you bring, the darkness has no claim.

Chorus (Reprise)

Enveloped by aspersion, my quintessence set aflame,
Tattered innocence trembling into desolated pain.
But as you soothe my dying heart, the truth begins to wane,
And in your shining presence, I am free, yet still in chains.

Outro

I shed my rain-soaked clothes and lay fetal in your light,
Curled within the quiet, my body learns the night.
Your warmth upon my skin can’t still the truth I hold,
For my fist crushes the inviolate; my last tear seals the fold.

Listen to the Song

About the Music

Note: The music and vocal performance for this song were generated using AI tools. The original writing and lyrics were written by me (Sean Michaelson). My hope is to someday collaborate with musicians and vocalists to bring these songs to life in a deeper and more personal way.