Original Writing & Song · Written by Sean Michaelson
Original Journal Prayer: Sometime in 1994 (Age 13) · Reflection Written: 11/26/2025 · Song Written: 1/21/2026
Original Writing
I wonder how many times I sang A Child’s Prayer when I was little. Hundreds? Maybe thousands? I couldn’t begin to tell you.
But I remember those words.
“Heavenly Father, are You really there?”
Oh, how I loved that song!
I remember looking into the sky, watching the clouds drift past, wondering where heaven might be. Sometimes I’d look at the stars and try to imagine how far away God was. Was heaven beyond the moon? Beyond the brightest star? Could He see me from all the way up there?
I believed He could.
And I believed He could hear me.
That’s what made those words so beautiful to me. I wasn’t asking whether God existed. I knew He did! I was a little boy singing to somebody I loved.
But I remember lying in bed at night, too.
God, I remember those nights!
Sometimes I was afraid to close my eyes because I knew what might be waiting for me when I fell asleep. And sometimes being awake was hardly any better.
I had seen and experienced things that no little boy should have to understand. There were things about my own body that confused and frightened me. Things I hated. Feelings I didn’t know what to do with.
And there was nobody I knew how to talk to about all of it.
But I knew the songs.
I knew Jesus Understands Children. I knew A Child’s Prayer. I knew those beautiful melodies and every promise I heard in them.
Sometimes I would think about the words while I lay there.
“Heavenly Father, are You really there?”
God? Can You see me?
I used to wonder whether He could see through the ceiling. It sounds like such a silly question now, but I was a child! I knew God could see everything, but I still tried to imagine how that worked.
Could He see through the roof? Through the clouds? Could He hear me if I didn’t say the words out loud?
What if I was too far away?
What if my voice was too small?
And then there were the questions I was frightened to ask.
God, if You can see me, can You see what’s happening?
Do You know what they do?
Do You know how scared I am?
I wanted Him to come. I wanted Him to make it stop.
There were nights when I wished I could just disappear until morning. I didn’t want another nightmare. I didn’t want another terrible memory. I didn’t want to be frightened of my own body.
I wanted to feel safe.
And I kept thinking about that song.
I can still hear the melody. I can still remember how beautiful it sounded when we sang it in church.
But there was something terribly different about remembering those words in my bedroom.
In church, I sang them with all the other children.
At night, I was asking them alone.
I don’t know how to describe what it was like to believe so completely that somebody was there, somebody who knew everything, and still be unable to understand why He wasn’t helping.
I wasn’t asking God to show me heaven.
I wasn’t asking to see angels.
I wanted to know why He could see a little boy hurting and not come to him.
Sometimes I think about how young I was when those questions began. How much I believed. How certain I was that Heavenly Father loved children.
I still love that song. I really do.
But I cannot hear it without remembering that little boy looking into the sky, and later lying frightened in his bed, asking the very same question.
Only the second time, he wasn’t singing.
“Heavenly Father, are You really there?”
God, I was right here.
Could You hear me?
Song Lyrics
Verse 1
I learned the words before I learned their cost
Folded hands in the dark, already lost
They said You hear the smallest voice
Every child, every tear, every choice
So I asked You in the quiet of my bed
When the room felt louder than my head
Are You really there?
Do You hear me when I pray?
Pre-Chorus
The sky stayed empty
The ceiling stayed still
I waited for comfort
But nothing ever will
Chorus (soft, then breaking)
Are You really there?
Do You hear and answer every child’s prayer?
I’ve been calling Your name into endless air
Are You really there?
Verse 2
Night came early, night stayed long
Dreams turned sharp, something went wrong
I didn’t ask for gold or signs
I asked for peace inside my mind
I asked You to come sit with me
To stop the fear inside my skin
To make my body feel like mine
To make the darkness leave me in time
Chorus (darker, heavier)
Are You really there?
Because I’m breaking in this prayer
I’m too small to carry this despair
Are You really there?
Bridge (this is where the falsetto belongs — fragile, almost unbearable)
(Falsetto / childlike)
I didn’t know why I felt so wrong
Why my body sang a broken song
I hated myself for things I couldn’t choose
I begged You, God — please make me new
(Drop back to low voice)
They said You love the innocent
But I felt stained before I knew what sin even meant
Verse 3
I whispered into a sky with no face
Begged Someone to slow this pace
I didn’t need You to move the stars
I needed You where I already was
I needed arms I couldn’t see
A voice to finally answer me
But silence sat beside my bed
And said nothing at all instead
Final Chorus (full pain, restrained power)
Are You really there?
Because I’ve been screaming everywhere
Into a darkness darker than despair
Black would be mercy — at least it’s there
Are You really there?
Or am I praying to empty air?
Outro (very soft, almost spoken)
If You heard me back then
If You saw that little boy
Know this — I was calling
With everything I had
And no one ever answered
Listen to the Song
About the Music
The music and vocal performance for this song were generated using AI tools. The original writing and lyrics were written by me (Sean Michaelson). My hope is to someday collaborate with musicians and vocalists to bring these songs to life in a deeper and more personal way.
